How to Deal with an Overly Critical Person

Twas a wise little rabbit that once said, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

While that would be a much more pleasant world to live in, it's simply not the case.

Criticism can be a good thing when it's delivered in the right way and with the right context. How can we ever expect to grow if we are not honest with one another? Constructive criticism is delivered in a positive manner by offering valid opinions about the work of others. This kind of criticism encourages others to grow into a better version of themselves. Many of the great people we know in the world became that way because of constructive criticism.

Then there's the other kind of criticism. The kind of criticism that simply points out all of the negative aspects about a person or situation without offering any advice on improvement. While this criticism can be situation-specific, you may find that the people that deliver this criticism quite often do so in all aspects of their lives. An overly critical person is often hostile, withdrawn, and pessimistic.

Overly critical people often need help and guidance, so simply shutting them out wouldn't be the most fair approach. Here's a few ways to deal with an overly critical person.

Art by Matthew Hoffman

Try not to take it personally.
Often times a critical person is pointing out their own flaws or shortcomings, not yours. Avoid identifying yourself with the words of a critic. A person who criticizes will do so anyway, no matter what your actions or intentions may be. Your value does not decrease by someone else's words.

Hear the words, not the delivery.
Criticism is often paired with anger, frustration, and delivered at an increased volume. What is the point that is trying to be conveyed? Can it be addressed in a calm manner? Remember that the person who loses their temper has lost control of the situation. Stay in control, stay calm and try to listen to the words.

Respond with kindness.
How people treat other people is a reflection of how they feel about themselves. An overly critical person is likely battling many insecurities. Don't let them pull you into their storm, pull them into your peace. Change the subject by pointing out strengths rather than magnifying weaknesses.

Just because you listen doesn't mean you have to accept.
Some people just need to be heard. I feel that to be a basic human right. All too often, we listen only to respond and attempt to fix problems when we haven't been recruited to do so. It is not necessary to react to everything you hear. Simply lending an ear can make a big difference.

Avoid the situation.
When all else fails, remove yourself from the negativity. It's hard to live a positive life with a negative mind -- even when it's not your mind that is negative. Unfortunately, you cannot help a person who doesn't want to help themselves.