10.20.10

How many people can say that they have their breath taken away on a daily basis? I am so thankful to be here experiencing all of this, things couldn't be more perfect.

We had a "free day" today where we didn't have afternoon lecture. After morning class, everyone decided they wanted to go to the Rainsong Animal Sanctuary. Sarah and I actually decided to stay behind because zoos makes me sad and I've heard that the owners don't take very good care of the animals there. Juliet, Livy, Sarah and I walked down into town and did some serious shopping, it felt so good! I am firm believer in retail therapy. :) Then we decided to be bad and stop at Sano Banana for some iced coffee and chocolate cake. Delicious!!!!

Tonight was Karin's birthday so Johanne created a little outdoor barbeque for us, it was so lovely. He floated candles in the pool and we all had dinner under the moonlight eating veggie kabobs. Perfect night. After dinner, the cool kids all came out onto my balcony and drank some boxed wine and ate chocolate. We also dragged Drunk Face's(my new nickname for my roommate) bed out onto the balcony and jumped on it. A few people went to bed so it ended up me and Keith being the last ones standing as usual. We climbed up onto the roof and looked at the stars for a bit before we headed to bed.

Everyday I feel myself become more fearless, more independent, more appreciative, more loved, more wise... I deserve to be healthy, wealthy, and wise.

10.18.10

I officially miss my boyfriend. He has been so great about talking to me just about every day and making me a priority. Every morning I wake up baffled to be alone and in a foreign country without him. I miss him so much... such a tough thing when two perfect souls are sewn together then torn apart.

Today brought more rain. I had a quite lazy day.

I felt like dancing after Zumba tonight so Leila, Keith, April, Ruston, Lisa and I went out to Chico's for a beer and some dancing. It was quite dead though, so Leila and I came back here and drank wine with Steve and Katie. All in all a great night.

I can't wait to have Joe pick me up from the airport. Gosh I am missing him a lot lately... it was such a romantic movie moment when he dropped me off.. saying goodbye with a kiss then running back toward each other for one last goodbye, then walking off, glancing back, and running back once more... I can't wait to see him pick me up then go off to the Halloween party in awesome costumes together. I have never believed in soulmates until now.

10.17.10

Today was our first day of the second session. We got off to a slow start which everyone appreciated after the break. With the end of the first session has also come the end of the sunshine. :( It’s rained for the past 2 days, which I guess is alright since it’s rainy season anyhow!
I got my first acupuncture tonight. It was quite an experience... It didn't hurt at all which I was surprised at. I didn't feel any needles going in, Donna is such an amazing practitioner. She explained that each pressure point is affiliated with a different emotion and partnering organ. If the points get redness around them it means that you really needed it in that spot. Mine actally got really red around the lower 3 which represent anger and frustration, greif, and a lack of joy. During the session I closed my eyes and tried to let whatever thoughts came in my mind just flow. I was really surprised though because I was having a lot of negative thoughts... and I'm a really positive person! I was a bit distraught afterwards and couldn’t figure out where these emotions were coming from. I talked to Katie and Jory about it afterward and trying to piece together my thoughts and emotions. I think that what I came up with was that I never really dealt with my emotions after Joe and I broke up. I just felt like it was over and that was it. All the sadness and frustration was buried deep within and never really arose. I talked to Karin last night for a while about it since she went through a similar thing with her ex-husband. It’s not about him at all, I could really care less about that, but it’s about me. It’s about feeling like a failure when you’ve tried so hard and invested so much into a person and just feeling shit on when it falls apart. Feeling guilty when your plan for your life doesn’t work out… but what I’ve learned is that plans are pointless. Goals are important to have but plans always let you down. If you plan for something you get your hopes up and when they’re not exactly what you thought they’d be you end up disappointed. Life is about today, what’s going on now. If we spend our lives hoping for the future and dwelling on the past we miss out on so much in the present. Right now I’m working on being more aware and observant of my surroundings, becoming more fearless, trusting myself and listening to my body… those are just a few things.
I’m starting to study Ayurveda a bit more, I’m getting really interested in it. I’ve also been looking into massage therapy school… but I need to think about it a little more. I would like to heal people in as many ways as I possibly can. That way, I figure, I will always have a successful life.
Only 10 more days of class… wow. I can’t even imagine leaving this place… so I’m not going to think about it.
Hope everyone back home is enjoying their everyday lives! Thinking of you all and missing you! Pura vida :)

10.16.10

Another beautiful sunny day in paradise!
Today was our last day off and boy did we make it count! Mandy, Sarah, Katie and I went horseback riding on the beach for 4 hours. I haven’t gotten on a horse since Girl Scouts and it felt so good! We got on in Montezuma and rode the horses along the beach all the way to Playa Grande where we stopped at the most beautiful waterfall I’ve ever seen. We climbed up the rocks and sat behind it for about a half hour. The four of us sitting there smiling in the sunshine got me so emotional, we all decided that we were the luckiest people on the planet at that moment. I meditated in the waterfall for a bit, it was such a good feeling. We were all riding on a euphoric high for the rest of the day after that!
After horseback riding we went through town and found a bunch of the girls hanging out and shopping. Went to a few stores and resisted the urge to buy things, I did pretty well!
Tomorrow starts our second half of the session, we are getting more into Hatha which I'm excited about. Pura vida!

10.15.10

I hate to say that I haven’t done ANY yoga on my break so far! Bad girl! I’ve just been having wayyyy too much fun!
Today I went to Playa Carmen with Donna, Jennifer, Mandy, Sarah, and two of Sarah’s friends from back home. We rented surf boards and Mandy gave me a quick lesson. After a few tumbles I finally got it! I actually stood up on the board my first time surfing! I’ve had a few people tell me that surfing is like an addiction but I never really understood it until I experienced it firsthand. Donna told me that surfing is not a hobby, it’s a lifestyle… and she is SO right. I am in love.
After surfing we walked to Santa Teresa and ate the best falafel plates I’d ever experienced. We stuffed our hard working surfer bellies til they were full! Once we got into Santa Teresa, Sarah made a game time decision to get a tattoo on her wrist. It was a really cute small one, I think we may need to pay that place another visit soon. J
After we got home and ate an amazing sushi dinner I couldn’t decide what to do with myself. I had showered and gotten a cute dress on with nothing to do. Keith and April had gone down to the beach for a bonfire with a few other people but no one seemed like they really wanted to go. About five minutes after I had given up on going out, Keith showed up on a 4-wheeler asking who needed a ride to the beach. Perfect! We cruised down to the beach and had a huge bonfire, cooked some fresh fish over it and drank a couple beers. It looked like it was going to rain a bit so we headed down to Chico’s. Hung out there for a few then went back onto the beach behind the bar. After attempting to make another fire which was a futile effort, we decided to just come back up to the resort. Hung out in the jungle room and drank a little wine with some leftover sushi and giggled up a storm.
I am so thankful for today and for all of the lessons I have learned and memories I will treasure forever.

10.14.10

Today started the first day of our break. We’ve had 12 days straight of classes and this marks the halfway point.
Katie’s birthday was today, I think it was a good one!
After lunch we went with Leila down to Cobano to do some shopping. There’s a bunch of cute little shops , did some good shopping. It ended up just being me, Jory, Katie and Ruston wandering around Cobano. We decided that since it was Katie’s birthday and didn’t have class the next day that we were going to stock up on wine and chocolate.
So Katie’s birthday was a huge success, one of the greatest nights so far. Jory and I bought her a huge blow-up dolphin for her birthday and named him Ruben. He was the star of the party! The first bottle of wine was opened at dinner and it went on alllll night! We started out with a hula hoop dance party, which turned into a pool party, followed by a jumping on the bed-a-thon, which turned into a radical night in the jungle room. It was such a great night, everyone really let their hair down and had a blast.

10.12.10

Wow, so many things to talk about and so little time!

Last night was Keith's birthday so we went out to town and to the beach. About 10 of us went to Chico's, the only bar in town, and had a little celebration. We drank, danced, then headed down to the beach for a bonfire and a midnight swim in the ocean. It was one of the most incredible nights of my life. Running in the warm ocean with my amazing new little family underneath the bright stars... it was just beyond words. After we dried off by the bonfire, we went back to Chico's and closed out the bar. The owners gave us motorcycle rides up the hill and we all came back to hang out at the pool. Apparently we have no concept of time because before we knew it the sun was already coming up and people were waking up for class! I actually slept through class this morning, whoops! Sasha didn't mind though, there were a few of us that didn't make it.

It finally rained tonight. We didn't have any rain for almost a week! Crazy! It was a beautiful storm.

Tomorrow I am getting my first massage ever. I know, crazy. How have I made it 25 years without getting a massage? I am getting acupuncture on Sunday as well, I am excited to try all these new things!

We have free days on Friday and Saturday of this week. A few of us are going to go surfing on Friday then horseback riding on the beach on Saturday. I have yet to go zip-lining, I am really excited to do that soon!

Katie's birthday is Thursday so I think we will have a huge celebration.

Tomorrow we start Hatha yoga in class, I am excited for that. I really enjoyed the Arkaya and Restorative but I'm ready for Hatha to kick my butt! :)

Off to bed for another day in paradise. Pura vida!

10.10.10

Wow, 10.10.10... what does the universe have in store for us today??

Stella, one of the yoga instructors here, told me something great today: "We don't call them breakdowns, they're breakthroughs." Yesterday was one of those days. Before dinner we decided to have a gratitude circle. About 10 of us gathered around with a candle in a circle and said something we were grateful for. It was so beautiful, everyone spoke from their heart and said such wonderful things about everyone. I defintiely shed a few tears. Then we went around and said a compliment to the person on our right... Jennifer told me that I was a kind and gentle spirit, which also brought me to tears. We did a lot of sharing and opening up yesterday, I think we all need some guidance in our healing. After sitting in the sauna for a bit, Jory, Katie, Jennifer and I had another sharing circle where we talked about anything and everything. We discussed the difference between confidence and self-love, something which many of us are working on. Right now we are making lists of everything we feel guilty for and burning them, and making lists of things we need to do in order to love ourselves. It's such a great healing process.

Joseph, one of the owners of the resort, brought three little kittens to the resort today to play with us. What a wonderful treat!! Kittens will put a smile on even the coldest person's face.

We are headed out to the beach for class today so I must go off and get prepared.

Pura vida & much love.

10.9.10

Experienced my first earthquake last night, it was amazing! Jory, Katie, Donna and I were in the sauna and it suddenly started shaking. At first we thought it was someone playing a trick on us until we realized the lanterns outside were shaking as well. After we went inside, everyone told us the earthquake measured 5.9 in San Jose! Ridiculous! Popped my earthquake cherry J

My teacher Sasha is so lovely, she is so full of knowledge and I really enjoy the way she presents information and guides her class. The instruction is never pretentious or strict and I feel like I am learning so much more than I had expected.

Everything today has been reminding me of my dear Joe, I miss him. I have been lucky enough to talk to him every day since I have been here. He has made himself so available to me whenever I needed him, I’m so thankful for that. It’s very comforting being able to make that connection everyday.

10.8.10

This morning was quite an experience... I have been sitting in the infrared sauna for about a half hour every other day to speed up the detoxification of my body. The first morning after I went in I felt like I had a hangover, probably my body getting rid of all the alcohol toxins. The next time after I went in I actually felt really good, my skin was soft and I had tons of energy. This morning I woke up around 5:30 and the room was spinning. I got up out of bed and stumbled onto the balcony to watch the sunrise and saw a rainbow of different colors radiating from the horizon and it seemed as though everything was in slow motion. I passed out for a few minutes out there then went back to bed for another hour, still feeling very strange but smiling alot. After I got dressed and went downstairs I asked Jory if my body would feel drunk after detoxing alcohol and she said no. However, if you've ever been put under any sedation for surgeries or done any other mind-altering drugs, you will likely re-experience them when the toxins are exiting your body. So, this morning was likely one of those experiences. After I stopped hallucinating and seeing colors, I had a headache and my sinuses were clogged which is something that had happened to me after I had previously taken some silly substances. Very strange.

I have been dreaming a LOT here, almost every night. The other night I had a dream about The Simpsons, but they were also aliens and also my family. I don't remember much except for being in the car with Homer and being scared. I told Jory about my dream and she said that maybe it's my body's way of detoxing from television. I thought that was pretty funny.

Today was another sunny day, 4 days in a row now. I think we are bringing some sort of magical energy to this place and our prayers for sun are being answered.

We started getting into restorative yoga today which I am very excited about. I think it's something I really want to focus on, the rehabilitation side of yoga.

A couple of us did Zumba again last night, it was so much fun. I think by the time we leave here we are all going to be sexy salsa dancers!

I am feeling more and more blessed everyday being surrounded by these wonderful souls in this magical place. I am so thankful. I am so grateful for having such an amazing support system at home as well, wishing me well and keeping in touch with me.

Love, love, love. Happy 70th Birthday John Lennon.

Pura vida.

10.7.10

It hasn't rained here for 3 days, which is nothing short of a miracle during the rainy season. It is absolutely perfect here today. It's about 90 degrees out, not a cloud in the sky, breezy and just wonderful.

We had our last day of practicing Arkaya yoga today which makes me a little sad because I've loved it. I shed a few tears in class today, I'm not quite sure why. This place has been bringing about a lot of unexplained emotions in me but I can only imagine that they are healthy, bottled up, and been waiting to escape for quite some time now.

I am missing everybody back at home dearly, but strangely everyone here reminds me of someone I already have in my life. It's like this entire experience was crafted just for me, I cannot even explain it. We even planned to have a giant Thriller dance at the end of the month after I told a few people that it had been a dream of mine for a few years now. Does it get any more perfect?

I cannot wait to come back home and share everything that I have learned with everyone that I love. But for now it's time to soak up some more valuable sunshine. :)

Pura vida, missing you all.

10.6.10

"Above all, learn how to listen... listen with a still heart, with a waiting open soul, without passion, without desire, without judgement, without opinions." -Siddartha

Another amazing day in paradise.

Morning was spent practicing resorative yoga, felt amazing.

I found the most beautiful moth in the kitchen this morning, he had a torn wing and couldn't fly very well at all. His name was Maurice, I decided. I picked him up and he latched onto my shirt and wouldn't let go. Everytime I tried to move him he twirled around in a spiral and tried to fly to no avail. I finally set him down on my yoga mat between my feet and decided to meditate a little bit. I had my eyes closed for about ten minutes and suddenly heard a flutter. I opened my eyes to see Maurice gracefully flying off into the jungle. What a magical thing to happen! Every life is worth saving no matter how small and miniscule it may seem.

Spent the day in the pool. We actually had lecture out by the pool this afternoon which made it even more exhilirating.

I am an ocean of wisdom, yet it is the rainy season here and the ocean fills up significantly during this time of year.

Pura vida!

10.5.10

Everyday is a new day filled with new knowledge and breakthroughs. Commit to doing one act of selflessness each day.

I feel so truly blessed to be given the opportunity to have this experience.
It didn’t rain at all today. For the rainy season in Costa Rica, that’s unheard of. It usually starts raining every day at 4 PM like clock work. When it’s not rainy, it’s likely to be cloudy or overcast so today was quite a treat!
I had trouble getting out of bed this morning. Jory, Katie, Misia and I went in the infrared sauna last night and even though I felt amazing afterwards, I am definitely feeling it today. Infrared therapy is supposed to be the most effective way to rid the body of toxins so I’m sure it’s a good thing that I was feeling like crap. I also don’t think I drank enough water before I went to bed either so that didn’t help.

Class was great this morning. We learned about Kirtan, the yogic practice of sound therapy. It was amazing to hear 25 people all humming in pitch together, I felt the Earth vibrating underneath me from all the positive energy. After lunch, a few of us went down the waterfall just a few minutes away. It was absolutely breathtaking. There are three waterfalls: the first is about 30 feet high, the second is closer to 50 feet, and the third we are told to stay away from because it’s too dangerous. I was the first to jump off the first, it was so entirely exhilarating. Camilla, my friend from Norway, was nervous to jump so I climbed back up and held her and jumped with her. She loved it of course. Then Lisa, from England, was too scared to jump so I climbed back up and held her hand as well. Then Katie, from Vancouver, was too scared so I was the designated jumping guide. There’s a rope tied to a tree about 20 feet high that we swung from. I felt like a kid, it was marvelous.

Lecture was all about the chakras which was really interesting, but it was cut short so we had the night to ourselves. Leah, one of the girls who works here a the resort, teaches a Zumba class on Tuesday nights so a bunch of us joined in and danced our butts off. So much fun, I know I will be sore tomorrow though. We were all completely drenched in sweat so we jumped straight in the pool afterwards. Mandy showed us some partner yoga, or acrobatic yoga, which I am definitely going to have to take up. It felt so great to be the flyer on top, my back has never felt so good. Then we had a little Bob Marley hula hoop party and ate an amazing dinner of vegetable fajitas and tuna ceviche. The food here has all been completely beyond words, I have never eaten so good! It is so hard to believe it is all organic AND made without sugar! I do believe I experienced my first sugar withdrawal today which I really didn’t expect to happen. I have been eating gluten free and dairy free for the past few days and feel so great. I have been eating fish here and there because with the amount of activity I am undertaking I feel that I need the protein.

I cannot believe that today is only day #4. I feel like I have known these people my entire life. Everyone here is so amazing, such a wonderful group of people.

10.4.10

Here's a few things I've learned so far:

• Yoga is love and respect for yourself and for others: it is balance, it is acceptance.
• Your energy speaks volumes.
• Awareness begins with realizing how unaware you truly are.
• Bliss is found in aligning yourself with the supreme: I am my own god, I am all that is.

Yesterday was an amazing day. I watched one person cry which led to 5 other people crying, including me. We were asked to introduce ourselves and state our intention for the month. Naturally, I began to think about what I’d say when it came to be my turn. I’ve been asked this question many times before I hopped this flight, believe me. My usual response was honest and direct--I feel as though I have taken all there is to take from my classes and am looking for as much knowledge as I can get as well as the confidence to pass that knowledge unto others. But as it came to be my turn, something changed in me. I stood up in front of the class and immediately started crying--I was more shocked than anyone, I really didn’t feel these emotions coming on at all. I wasn’t speaking from my head as I had planned, but instead from my heart. Through a tear-soaked face and a quivering lip I managed to tell the group that this had been a dream of mine for a long time now and I needed to stop putting off my dreams. I had been living someone else’s dream and been pushed aside for so long that I decided it was finally time for me. After I shed some tears in lecture, Katie came up to me in tears and hugged me tightly. “I’ve been looking for a reason to cry lately, so thank you. I needed that just as much as you did,” she said. I found that so amazing that we keep so much inside of us that it has to come out in the form of tears, sometimes for no reason at all. It felt really good to cry today, it was something that was just for me. The energy flowing around this resort is so positively amazing it almost puts me in tears every time I really sit and think about it. I have never been surrounded by so many positive forces at one time, so many people really truly invested in one belief and culture, it really is beyond words.
Since I have gotten here I made a few very close friends, however in class yesterday morning we were asked to make a commitment for the day, something we were going to change or let go of. I decided that I needed to branch out and spread my energy around more instead of staying in my safe zone. Throughout the day I sat by someone new every chance I had. During lecture, during free time, at the pool… I sat by two people I barely knew and I am so glad that I did. I made several great new friends and learned a lot of new things. I am so grateful for that.

The first type of yoga we have learned is called Kundalini. This type of yoga believes in the healing power of yoga and the heightened consciousness it brings, rather than most popular types of yoga that are more focused on physical fitness. Kundalini stresses inner cleansing before outer sculpting. We must align our bodies and find our centers before we can take our practice any further. I thoroughly enjoyed class. Any yoga that you can practice for 3 hours straight and maintain a smile on your face is pretty outstanding. It doesn’t hurt that we are in the middle of the jungle looking over the Pacific Ocean I guess… one exercise we did was spreading our toes and sitting back into them which hurt more than most things I have ever done in my practice. Sasha said that we carry most of our fear in our feet, so usually tight feet mean lots of unresolved fears. There was a hawk floating on the ocean breeze just off the deck that I focused on and imagined that my fears were flowing out of me like the breeze, releasing like air from a tire and keeping that marvelous bird afloat. Then I imagined myself as the hawk: fearless, free, soaring wherever I so choose. So I pushed on through the practice as much as my toes begged me to stop.

Today I woke up at 5:30 with my roommate Misia and watched the sun rise and did some wake up yoga, then we went for an hour walk before breakfast. We had an amazing breakfast again, class until 11 then walked to town after lunch. Went into a super cute local shop and bought a hammock, one of life's necessities obviously, then hung out at the ocean for a bit. We just barely made it back for lecture. I was so exhausted I dozed off for about 15 minutes. Luckily I have all the notes and only a few people noticed me sleeping! I went in the infrared sauna tonight and feel amazing, my skin is surely going to be glowing tomorrow.

Looking forward to what tomorrow holds in store for me, surely a new adventure.

Pura vida :)

10.3.10

I have now officially been in Costa Rica for 24 hours, yahoo! It already feels like so much longer than that. I got into the airport at 10 AM and met up with 7 other girls from my group. Much to my surprise, I was the only American! 3 girls were from Canada, 3 from England, and 1 from Malaysia. We boarded a shuttle with a crazy driver, took an hour and a half ferry ride, then trecked through unspeakable amounts of mud to make it to Anamaya. We were kindly greeted with organic wine and the most delicious meal I have probably ever eaten. This place really is nothing short of paradise.

I am staying in the Master Suite just upstairs from the kitchen and dining room with two other girls, Misia from Detroit and Petroula from Greece. Surprisingly still, I am only one of very few American people here. I have an ocean view from my bedroom and the best sunrise I have ever seen.

This morning we had a fabulous breakfast of fresh pineapple, papaya, banana, and watermelon with some fresh juice. Morning started out with 3 hours of yoga, I actually fell asleep during shavasana and started to dream. I learned today that most of our fears we hold in our feet, so if you have lots of tension in your toes that's probably the reason why. Every day I am feeling a bit more fearless.

We have spent most of the day in the infinity pool although the sun wasn't cooperating with our ohm's. Even with the overcast, though, I managed to get a rockin' tan.

I am off to lecture on the deck, I will post pictures soon. You won't believe your eyes.

The local people say "pura vida" kind of like how Hawaiian people say "aloha" or Jamaicans use "irie." It means the good life, everything's good, and good energy to you.

Pura vida!

10.2.10

Never thought it would feel so good to be turning my phone off for a month.

Boarding the plane now. Feeling anxious, nervous, excited, lonely, scared... many other things... last day here was great, saw just about everyone I really cared to. Spent the day feeling truly loved by a pretty fantastic guy.

See you in Costa Rica.

Pura vida!

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9.28.10

The last flight I took to D.C. departed at 6 AM. I had to be up and out of the house by 4 AM. Being hungover did not make the task any easier. Why are 6 AM flights even legal? When I left for Jamaica in 2007, I remember heading to the airport at 5 AM, watching the sun rise over the international terminal at O'Hare. Who tortures themselves in such a manner? Three days from now, I will be boarding a plane for Costa Rica at 3:10 AM. I consciously booked this flight complete with a layover in Guatemala, having no Spanish speaking abilities aside from "el bano" and "gordita," over a month ago. My itinerary has hung above my desk the entire time, yet just tonight I caught the devlish glare of neon yellow highlighter beaming the numbers 3:10 AM into my eyes.

I guess you could say it's just hit me now. I am packing my cluttered, disorganized life into a carry-on bag and flying to a foreign country alone. For a month.

For the past five years I have been safe. Scrimping, saving, planning for a future that I had no control over. After Joe and I split a few months ago, I realized what a sheltered and confined life I had been living. I worried about things I shouldn't have been worrying about, dodged my friends which were the only sanity in my life, and dug myself into a dark hole of misery and loneliness. It wasn't until he left that I really found out that what I had been missing out on for so long was life itself. Every day since then I have tried to live with as few regrets as possible. Stay out late, sleep in, drink a little too much, laugh a little too hard, love everyone and everything possible... yet I still seek more. I have never been one to have a plan, persay, but I believe that this experience; my month-long immersion into the yoga lifestyle, culture, spirituality, and whatever else comes my way; will lead me to exactly where I need to be.

Follow me if you wish.