Balance. It's something every yogi practices in their physical body. That shaky feeling in your tree pose can easily be stabilized with steady breathing and clear focus. Balancing in my yoga practice has usually come fairly easy to me, but my balance has never been tested as much as when my family began to grow.
We had 2 kids less than 2 years apart, and needless to say it was quite an adjustment. As stressful as it was at times, I wouldn't change a thing for the world. Among the many, many things that my son and daughter have taught me about love and life, they've inspired me to strengthen my yoga practice and become a more confident teacher.
Finding my center in crow pose? No problem.
Balancing work, family, home, a relationship with my spouse, meal planning, doctor visits, a social life, diaper changes, laundry... then somehow finding time for myself in there? Alignment cues don't do much for real world problems, but many aspects of yoga have helped me grow into a stronger and more confident parent.
Many yogis may know that the physical practice of asana is just the tip of the iceberg. Here's a few ways that my sweet children have encouraged my yoga, and how my yoga has strengthened my parenting.
You're a Master on Adjustments
During pregnancy your body changes a
LOT and you've got to find comfort somehow. I learned a heck of a lot about my body through pregnancy. Like where my sciatic nerve is for example -- yikes. But it forces you to learn your anatomy a little better and in a way that you really retain. I also pay a lot more attention to our childrens' anatomy. When my son woke up with a sore neck, he was delighted to join me for some neck circles and shoulder rolls.
Monkey See Monkey Do
Kids are little sponges, especially in those glorious toddler years. They become tiny little parrots revealing the good and the bad things about what they see in the world around them. No matter what you
say to them -- especially when it's what
not to do -- they see through that if your actions don't agree with your words. It can be the sweetest and the most terrifying thing all at once. We had to remove some words from our vocabulary shortly after certain words started popping out of our son's mouth. But it can also be a wonderful thing. Take for instance my son, who caringly attempted to comfort his cousin in the midst of a crying fit by showing her how to take deep breaths. My heart was soaring. In short, if you want your kids to be good role models, look into the mirror and see what they see.
The same can be said of students in a yoga practice. Two teachers can teach the exact same class and it will still be different. The teacher who teaches from the heart and from true knowledge will connect with students more, and will empower them with that passion. Be present in every moment and live what you feel in your heart.
Because My Family Counts on Me
It's quite a struggle caring for others when you can't care for yourself. I know that because I've lived it. Being overworked, overtired -- fuses get shorter and tension grows higher. It's not fair to make your loved ones suffer because you can't take care of yourself. Use your energy wisely. Do something that makes you feel alive, like you matter, and like you are special. When I take my kids to the park, I like to practice my handstands against the tall trees because it reminds me that I get to have fun, too. So be responsible and take time for you.
Use Support
My yoga classes usually call for blocks, straps, bolsters, blankets... pretty much anything available. We don't always use them, but as I tell my students I'd rather have them and not need them than vice versa. Sure, you can practice your forward bend without any tools, but wouldn't that block to support your head really make it more enjoyable? And the cushy pad of a blanket under your bum? Then why not make it the most accessible version for you? The same can be said of balancing the needs of your family. Ask your partner to load the dishes, send the kids to Grandpa's house for a sleepover, or just take a break when you feel exhausted. Use all of the support available to you and don't feel guilty about it. Using support does not mean you are lazy, it means you are wise.
It's Still About You
Yoga has become so sacred to me since our family has expanded, because it has become the only time I really have just for me. After you have kids, priorities change a heck of a lot. It's not all about you anymore. But just because it's not
all about you doesn't mean your life ceases to exist or your passions fizzle out. I'll admit that after giving birth twice and nursing each for a whole year I felt like I was little more than a vessel or a tool to sustain this life I've created. But after that first year it gets easier. You learn to ask for help when you need it and slowly you get little bits of 'me time' here and there. Yoga makes me feel alive, so that is how I spend 'my time.' Whatever it is, do what makes you feel like
you.
Parenting is not an easy job. It's challenging on its own and even more challenging when you have to balance your time & energy between a career and a family. Everybody has bad days, but love always shines through. No matter how much frustration and exhaustion show through, the gleam of unconditional love is always there and nothing can change that.
