Acceptance

Life is full of critics. Some even get paid to criticize work that others may have poured their entire life into; scrutinizing every single detail of their work, and often times attacking their character for no reason whatsoever. Some just walk among us, claiming that they're "not going to sugar coat" their opinions which, in my opinion, are usually better left unsaid. Sometimes it comes to you through a filter--he said, she said--which is equally as unnerving.

While criticism can certainly be constructive and helpful, it is quite often not the case.

And honestly, sometimes it hurts.

They say you should toughen up, don't take it too seriously--but in all honesty, it's hard not to take it personally.

I've been described as a sensitive person, which I'm okay with. Sometimes I take things too personally, read too much into situations, or take dialogue too literally. I know I can't make everyone happy, but it has never stopped me from trying.

This comes into my life more personally in my line of work. I see so many faces come and go in my classes and I want to make each and every one of them smile & feel good. The way I see it, that's my job. But the truth is, it is not possible to make some people happy.

"Share as much love as you can, but be okay when people can't return it. Others' opinions don't need to alter your mission, so stay strong to what makes your heart beat."
-Kathryn Budig

I had a student get up and walk out of my class during savasana a few months ago. No words were spoken, no eye contact, she simply left. Maybe she had somewhere to go, maybe she didn't feel well, a hundred things could have happened--but she hasn't been back.

I had one particular instance where a student's favorite teacher was out of town that particular weekend, so she reluctantly came to my class instead. From the moment she entered the room, I could tell that there was no way I was going to please her. She slumped on her mat, frowning and sighing, as if she in the waiting room of a doctor's office instead of a relaxing yoga class.

Bottom line: she wanted her teacher, and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't give her that. Sure, I could have tried to accommodate to her regular teacher's style to MAYBE take a chance at pleasing her, but I didn't. That wouldn't be fair to my regular students, and more importantly it wouldn't be fair to me. I stayed true to myself, to my teaching, and to my students.

One of the hardest lessons that I've had to learn in life is if someone has a problem with you, let it be just that--THEIR problem, not yours.

While it may be easier said than done, just know that when this criticism reaches you; try not to immediately blame yourself.

Do not be discouraged. 

Do not change yourself. 

Do not let it slow you down.

If a person wants to be upset with you because of a certain character trait that you exhibit (or lack), allow them to do so. Most of the time, it won't matter what you say or do anyhow, so let it go. Instead of trying to make others happy and gain their acceptance, focus on yourself. 

Do what makes YOU happy. Because there's nothing more beautiful than that.

"To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself."
-Thich Nhat Hanh