Releasing Anger Toward Yourself

I had just wrapped up a week of classes exploring the 8 limbs of yoga. We focused on ahimsa, or non-harming, then moved onto santosha (contentment). I spent extra time planning classes that week. My regular students are so kind and so thirsty for knowledge that I felt like I had to come prepared with fresh fun ideas. To be honest, I was diving into material I hadn't studied in 4 years. Here I was reading these words that I'd studied, teaching a class that had been recycled a few times, without really being able to connect to the words that came out of my mouth. I was angry with myself for not having enough time to pour my heart into what I do. When I got home from work, I was angry at myself for not spending enough time with my kids. 

Even though I love my job and it brings me so much joy, I'd been working too much. I was losing steam and I knew it. This is what helped fuel the anger. My boyfriend lost his job and we'd finally started the serious discussion about getting married. The only thing that held us back? Money. It's amazing how clever the universe can be.

The pressure kept building and the need to be successful was growing. One day after yet another discussion about marriage, a person I care about a lot was put in a compromising position because of me. Sane Sarah says be calm, breathe, and stay in control -- practice what you preach, right? If only... I blew up and dug myself a hole which will take a while to repair. Once the ground is broken, it can never truly be mended. 

I was really angry with myself. Once again I'd let my anger get the best of me. I was ashamed, embarrassed, and worst of all is that I was mean. Really mean to a person that I love so dearly. I felt a heaviness against my chest like I couldn't breathe. Who was this person? What was this anger inside of me?

Change the Internal Dialogue

I was filling this void in my life with unhealthy habits -- junk food, mindless television, alcohol. Basically, I was filling this toxic environment with even more crap to stew on.

I had been holding onto this feeling of inadequacy because I wasn't married. We tend to get fooled into this thinking that everything will be better once we make more money/get a better job/finally share the same last name as your children and the man you love. But it's not like that. It never will be. 

I failed to see what was already in front of me. I was searching for this validation through working too hard and exhausting myself, as if trying to prove something to the world -- or maybe just to myself.

The real truth is that the only way to release anger is with love. 

If you want to create a loving relationship with the world, you have to love yourself first. Take care of yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself. It won't happen overnight and it is not easy, but it is worth it. Of all the people in the universe, you are most deserving of your own love. 

Be an observer of your thoughts & feelings.

You are not ruled by your emotions. You can sit there and beat yourself up over mistakes & stew on your anger, or you can acknowledge these thoughts and feelings, allow them to unfold while remaining in your present state of mind. Your emotions should not feel like bondage being put upon you -- the bondage is all in your making.

Make time for peace & quiet.

Be alone with your thoughts often. Address the struggles in your life and really take the time to see how you feel -- mentally and physically. Take time to connect with your breath and clear your mind. Slow everything down. 

Let it go.

All the anger, sadness, anxiety, heaviness. It drains your energy. Forgive others, forgive yourself. 

Love.

In Light of the World's Loss: Robin Williams

I have been trying to convert my feelings into words over the loss of Robin Williams over the past day, but continue to be at a loss. Tonight after the kids had fallen asleep, My partner Joe mentioned to me that he saw an outcry of ISIS members on Twitter mourning over the death of Mr. Robin Williams. (this man knows everything that happens on the internet, please do not confuse with a terrorist :-) ) Literal terrorists expressing mourn over any living soul... what?

I had a student write to me tonight expressing gratitude for the help and love I'd provided on their journey after reading of Robin's passing. Life becomes so precious once we realize how delicate and REAL it is.



So, here we go. In my personal life, I have never experienced severe depression. I've been sad, yes, and even classified myself as depressed, but never could I place myself on the level of clinical depression that I have witnessed firsthand. Depression runs in my family, very closely, as well as mental illness and suicidal tendencies. I have felt the pain of this from a distance, and empathised for quite some time. All I can feel right now is sadness for how alone he must have felt.

Depression is real. It can get easier with help. 

Depression makes you not want to get out of bed. Ironically, it doesn't want to you sleep, either.

Depression leaves you drained, with no energy for anything. When you want to rest, depression keeps your mind rolling.

Facing depression is no easy task, and quite often requires more strength than a body builder to ensure those in your life that you're just fine... which is a lie. But their disappointment would only add more pressure.

As a public figure and a father, I cannot imagine the pressure that Robin felt.

I cannot fathom the amount of strength it took to get out of bed sometimes. To face the world not only with a smile, but with the desire to spread the light of laughter and happiness across the world.

I have felt the overpowering strength it takes to fight tears in front of your child, to protect their spirit and to shield them from the hurt, even just for another day.

I pray that Robin's spirit finds the comfort and safety that it so desired here on Earth.

If you are feeling depression, please seek the help of a trusted friend or medical professional. 

Let's all take some time to meditate on this tonight:

I am not alone. I am surrounded by love. My journey will continue. 

Energizing Twists & Binds: Yoga Class Plan

Twisting compresses the organs, helping to squeeze out toxins and cleanse the body. When the twist is released, FRESH oxygen-rich blood enters the organs.

The twisting of the spine can help remove blockages in those "sticky" areas, allowing the body to move more freely and enhancing clarity in the mind. When the energy flows more freely throughout the body, we feel lighter and are able to "flow" more effortlessly through life.

Here's a class that I've taught a few times since writing it last month and every time I've gotten rave reviews.

The class was inspired by this quote:

“Do not think of yourself as a small, compressed, suffering thing. Think of yourself as graceful and expanding, no matter how unlikely it may seem at the time.” 

–Light on Life by B.K.S. Iyengar

Think light and feel light in this class. Binds are optional, if the body allows it. Focus on opening up the shoulders  as much as possible before introducing the bind. Each pose is held for 5 breaths unless otherwise noted. Modify as needed as this class is meant for Intermediate Level students. Always listen to and honor your body.

Enjoy!

Intermediate Level Energizing Twists & Binds

• Sukhasana – Meditation & Ujayi breath (3 min)
• Yogi bicycles (2 minutes)
• Knees to chest
• Working twists (10 breaths) (Exhale drop knees to side, inhale back to center)
• Reclining shoulder circles
• Supta badha konasana
• Roll up to stand

--Surya Namaskar A 3X-- 

--Sequence 1--

• Crescent Lunge (3 breaths)
• Cactus arms (2 breaths)
• Lean & fly (2 breaths) (Hinge forward from hips 45 degrees with upper body and reach arms back)
• Twist & fly  (Twisted crescent, reach arms toward sky & ground)

--Surya B 3X--

--Come to Standing and pause to revisit intention--

--Sequence 2--

• Twisted chair fly (5 breaths each side)
• Step wide on mat
• Warrior 2
• Side angle - (Introduce bind, reach supporting arm under thigh and to low back, top arm reaches back to meet)
• Switch sides
• Triangle w/ bind
• Half moon
• Switch sides
• Prasarita Padottanasana w/ divers clasp
~Vinyasa through to Lion's breath in Downward Dog

--Sequence 3--

• Pyramid
• Revolved Triangle - bind
• Revolved Half Moon
• Switch sides

--Surya A--

--Sequence 4--

• Crescent Lunge
• Twist - bind
• Vinyasa
• Warrior 1
• Twisted Warrior
• Childs

--Cool Down--

• Thread the needle (10 breaths ea side)
• Cobra lifts 3X
• Camel 3X
• Simple seated twist
• Seated forward bend (1 minute)
• Janu sirsana side bend
• Badna Konasana
• Inversion (2 min)
• Plow
• Shoulder stand
• Ear to knee
• Fish
• Twists
Savasana -- revisit intention of feeling light, and with each breath release something that makes you feel heavy. Replace it with fresh new energy to fill all of the new spaces you created.

Thank You Universe

Thank you Universe for sending so many light-hearted and appreciative yogis my way tonight. A nearly sold out class full of harmonious breathing, flowing, smiles and giggles. My heart takes off when students hang around after class creating conversation around how GOOD they feel. That's really something special.

Earth, thank you for creating the ideal environment to nourish my garden. It has been an unreal experience being able to walk into the backyard and eat right off the plant, knowing that the only hands that have touched it were mine. No chemicals, no coating, nothing but positivity and sunshine makes it so much sweeter.

Moon, thank you for teaching us all how to handle our emotions on a daily basis. When you disappear, I am forced to search for that light within me to fill the darkness. And when you shine brightly, life illuminates all around. It's the balance in between the two that creates life.

Thank you, Sun, for sending your healing rays of growth down upon us. Thank you for allowing us the light to see the brilliant creations that surround us.

And Stars, thank you for your comfort. No matter what changes in life, I can always look up and count on you to be right where I left you.

Reiki Energy

I discovered Reiki shortly after I was lead down the path of teaching yoga. One of my roommates performed Reiki on me after I was badly injured and I will never forget that feeling. The next day I was in better spirits and able to move much more freely.

For as long as I can remember, I knew I wanted to be a healer. I just had no idea what path to take. 

Veterinarian was my first choice because of my love for animals, but after failing Chemistry I realized I wasn't cut out for it. Nursing was my second choice. I even completed my CNA. Clinicals at both the hospital and an Alzheimer's unit at a nursing home had me in tears, much too emotional for that.

If I could help people heal themselves through yoga practice, the addition of Reiki seemed like a given to me.

What is Reiki?

Reiki is known as the universal life force. We are all made of up energy, and sometimes that energy can feel clustered or clogged (headaches, digestion issues, anxiety, etc). Reiki helps to connect the energy centers of the body and help the body heal itself. Anyone can do Reiki. It is a force that is waiting to be tapped into, available to all.

While I had knowingly performed Reiki on myself prior to becoming certified, I noticed a big change after completing my Reiki course.

A certified Reiki practitioner receives an attunement from a Reiki master. In this process, the master transfers wisdom and power to the student. I had my attunement with Lisa Powers about a month ago and felt the difference in my Reiki over the next few days. My intuition was heightened and I could feel and read energy much more effectively. I felt the difference but had to share with others to find out for sure if it was real.

One of my lovely yoga students suffers from abdominal discomfort due to past medical issues. During savasana, I wave my hand over the front of her body and I can feel the vibrations and the warmth in her midsection from above her, so I place my hand there. I place my other hand on the crown of her head, in hope that the wisdom of the mind can better connect with the body. I stayed there for about a minute as tears began to roll down her cheeks. She told me that she could feel the vibrations. I'm not sure if it has helped her health just yet, but am pleased to know that she felt something.

Interested? Let's talk! Reiki is a gift to be shared with the world. Distance Reiki sessions are available as well.

I'll leave you tonight with the Five Reiki Principles written by Reiki Master Dr. Mikao Usui. It's a reminder that every day is a chance to start anew.

Just for today, I will not be angry

Just for today, I will not worry

Just for today, I will be grateful

Just for today, I will do my work honestly

Just for today, I will be kind to every living thing

Stay Calm on a Tough Day with Stress Busting Breath

Some days, life is tough from the get-go. Anxiety and stress can build up so much that you're left feeling vacant, empty, and just plain worthless.

Some days the weight of the world is just too heavy.

And when it all builds up, it can feel like life is enjoying watching you struggle, as you feel like you've been handed one shitty hand after another.

It's easy to feel drained, angry, and sad when things don't go smoothly. It's even easier to look for someone or something to blame. Someone I love dearly likes to proclaim, "God is laughing at me!" when he's having a bad day.

The truth that many of us forget is that no one can make you feel any certain way. 

While outside forces may have a great deal on the mood that we outwardly project, every feeling we display is a choice of our own.

The happiest people in the world don't have perfect lives filled with rainbows and butterflies, they've just made the decision to be happy.

The trick is taking control over these feelings and consciously deciding whether or not to let them affect your mood. Sure, someone cut you off in traffic--but how will getting angry and yelling at that person affect the situation? You'll get yourself more worked up, leading to more anger, more anxiety and continue on a downward spiral.

So how do we face stress, anxiety, sadness, and anger head-on with a smile on our faces?

Practice the following breath for 2-5 minutes, or until the stress has subsided. 

Stress Busting Breath

Find a quiet place where you can close your eyes and find silence for a few minutes. Take a seat or lie down. Close your eyes. Place hands on the belly, chest, or relax them at your sides. This breath will be practiced through the nose.

• Inhale deeply into your belly for 4 seconds
• Hold that breath in for 4 seconds
• Exhale completely for 4 seconds

Each time you exhale, think about attaching any heavy or negative feelings to that breath and invite softness to replace those points of tension. As you practice this breath over time, see if you can begin to extend the inhale, adding one second on each few breaths. See if you can gradually work your way up to doubling the duration of your exhale as compared to your inhale. 

When this breath is finished, come back to your normal nasal breath and rest for a few moments before you return back to "the real world." Set an intention that will help you maintain this feeling for the rest of the day, such as I am happy, I am well, I am peaceful (credit to Bhante Sujatha for this mantra) or something of the sort. 

Each time you feel your calm self being compromised, come back to this mantra, and back this breathing exercise if necessary. 

Be calm, be happy, be peaceful. You deserve to enjoy your life and live it in a happy manner, no matter what the circumstances. 

Chair Pose: Utkatasana

Chair Pose: Utkatasana 

 Stand in Tadasana. Inhale and raise your arms perpendicular to the floor. Either keep the arms parallel, palms facing inward, or join the palms.

 Exhale and bend your knees, trying to take the thighs as nearly parallel to the floor as possible. The knees will project out over the feet, and the torso will lean slightly forward over the thighs until the front torso forms approximately a right angle with the tops of the thighs. Keep the inner thighs parallel to each other and press the heads of the thigh bones down toward the heels.

 Firm your shoulder blades against the back. Take your tailbone down toward the floor and in toward your pubis to keep the lower back long.

 Stay for 30 seconds to a minute. To come out of this pose straighten your knees with an inhalation, lifting strongly through the arms. Exhale and release your arms to your sides intoTadasana.

Breakdown courtesy of Yoga Journal