10.17.10

Today was our first day of the second session. We got off to a slow start which everyone appreciated after the break. With the end of the first session has also come the end of the sunshine. :( It’s rained for the past 2 days, which I guess is alright since it’s rainy season anyhow!
I got my first acupuncture tonight. It was quite an experience... It didn't hurt at all which I was surprised at. I didn't feel any needles going in, Donna is such an amazing practitioner. She explained that each pressure point is affiliated with a different emotion and partnering organ. If the points get redness around them it means that you really needed it in that spot. Mine actally got really red around the lower 3 which represent anger and frustration, greif, and a lack of joy. During the session I closed my eyes and tried to let whatever thoughts came in my mind just flow. I was really surprised though because I was having a lot of negative thoughts... and I'm a really positive person! I was a bit distraught afterwards and couldn’t figure out where these emotions were coming from. I talked to Katie and Jory about it afterward and trying to piece together my thoughts and emotions. I think that what I came up with was that I never really dealt with my emotions after Joe and I broke up. I just felt like it was over and that was it. All the sadness and frustration was buried deep within and never really arose. I talked to Karin last night for a while about it since she went through a similar thing with her ex-husband. It’s not about him at all, I could really care less about that, but it’s about me. It’s about feeling like a failure when you’ve tried so hard and invested so much into a person and just feeling shit on when it falls apart. Feeling guilty when your plan for your life doesn’t work out… but what I’ve learned is that plans are pointless. Goals are important to have but plans always let you down. If you plan for something you get your hopes up and when they’re not exactly what you thought they’d be you end up disappointed. Life is about today, what’s going on now. If we spend our lives hoping for the future and dwelling on the past we miss out on so much in the present. Right now I’m working on being more aware and observant of my surroundings, becoming more fearless, trusting myself and listening to my body… those are just a few things.
I’m starting to study Ayurveda a bit more, I’m getting really interested in it. I’ve also been looking into massage therapy school… but I need to think about it a little more. I would like to heal people in as many ways as I possibly can. That way, I figure, I will always have a successful life.
Only 10 more days of class… wow. I can’t even imagine leaving this place… so I’m not going to think about it.
Hope everyone back home is enjoying their everyday lives! Thinking of you all and missing you! Pura vida :)