10.4.10

Here's a few things I've learned so far:

• Yoga is love and respect for yourself and for others: it is balance, it is acceptance.
• Your energy speaks volumes.
• Awareness begins with realizing how unaware you truly are.
• Bliss is found in aligning yourself with the supreme: I am my own god, I am all that is.

Yesterday was an amazing day. I watched one person cry which led to 5 other people crying, including me. We were asked to introduce ourselves and state our intention for the month. Naturally, I began to think about what I’d say when it came to be my turn. I’ve been asked this question many times before I hopped this flight, believe me. My usual response was honest and direct--I feel as though I have taken all there is to take from my classes and am looking for as much knowledge as I can get as well as the confidence to pass that knowledge unto others. But as it came to be my turn, something changed in me. I stood up in front of the class and immediately started crying--I was more shocked than anyone, I really didn’t feel these emotions coming on at all. I wasn’t speaking from my head as I had planned, but instead from my heart. Through a tear-soaked face and a quivering lip I managed to tell the group that this had been a dream of mine for a long time now and I needed to stop putting off my dreams. I had been living someone else’s dream and been pushed aside for so long that I decided it was finally time for me. After I shed some tears in lecture, Katie came up to me in tears and hugged me tightly. “I’ve been looking for a reason to cry lately, so thank you. I needed that just as much as you did,” she said. I found that so amazing that we keep so much inside of us that it has to come out in the form of tears, sometimes for no reason at all. It felt really good to cry today, it was something that was just for me. The energy flowing around this resort is so positively amazing it almost puts me in tears every time I really sit and think about it. I have never been surrounded by so many positive forces at one time, so many people really truly invested in one belief and culture, it really is beyond words.
Since I have gotten here I made a few very close friends, however in class yesterday morning we were asked to make a commitment for the day, something we were going to change or let go of. I decided that I needed to branch out and spread my energy around more instead of staying in my safe zone. Throughout the day I sat by someone new every chance I had. During lecture, during free time, at the pool… I sat by two people I barely knew and I am so glad that I did. I made several great new friends and learned a lot of new things. I am so grateful for that.

The first type of yoga we have learned is called Kundalini. This type of yoga believes in the healing power of yoga and the heightened consciousness it brings, rather than most popular types of yoga that are more focused on physical fitness. Kundalini stresses inner cleansing before outer sculpting. We must align our bodies and find our centers before we can take our practice any further. I thoroughly enjoyed class. Any yoga that you can practice for 3 hours straight and maintain a smile on your face is pretty outstanding. It doesn’t hurt that we are in the middle of the jungle looking over the Pacific Ocean I guess… one exercise we did was spreading our toes and sitting back into them which hurt more than most things I have ever done in my practice. Sasha said that we carry most of our fear in our feet, so usually tight feet mean lots of unresolved fears. There was a hawk floating on the ocean breeze just off the deck that I focused on and imagined that my fears were flowing out of me like the breeze, releasing like air from a tire and keeping that marvelous bird afloat. Then I imagined myself as the hawk: fearless, free, soaring wherever I so choose. So I pushed on through the practice as much as my toes begged me to stop.

Today I woke up at 5:30 with my roommate Misia and watched the sun rise and did some wake up yoga, then we went for an hour walk before breakfast. We had an amazing breakfast again, class until 11 then walked to town after lunch. Went into a super cute local shop and bought a hammock, one of life's necessities obviously, then hung out at the ocean for a bit. We just barely made it back for lecture. I was so exhausted I dozed off for about 15 minutes. Luckily I have all the notes and only a few people noticed me sleeping! I went in the infrared sauna tonight and feel amazing, my skin is surely going to be glowing tomorrow.

Looking forward to what tomorrow holds in store for me, surely a new adventure.

Pura vida :)